This blog will be controversial but I promise will be personal and mostly accurate. Let me first provide my golf and tennis resume and background.
Please forgive the fact there are not many photos representing the actual moments. Most of my golf and tennis career, people did not carry around their iPhone and take photos of everything. I am sad I did not properly document these times with my camera.
Golf Resume
Golf- I started playing golf at age 14 when my father took me to a par 3 course in Denver Colorado. I immediately fell in love with the game.
Caddy - I was a LOOPER
I soon became a caddy at a fancy schmancy course in Lakewood Colorado, Lakewood Country Club. We had a caddy shack and a caddy master just like the movie caddie shack. All of the caddies were rated from C to A. A level caddies were capable and occasionally caddied for professionals and local tour events. I started as a C caddy. Eighteen holes at Lakewood Country club is not like eighteen holes in Florida. Based in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains LCC was hilly and very beautiful. The players drove to the course in the Bentleys and Rolls Royces. Eighteen holes was called a “loop”, caddies were called “loopers”. Yes kids, I was LOOPER Tom. At the time I may have been 6’ tall and 145 pounds soaking wet. Turn sideways and you could not see me. Occasionally LOOPER Tom double bagged it. That means I carried 2 bags at the same time up and down the hills. These were not SUNDAY bags but were full sized professional bags like you see on the tour. OH Caddy, did you see my ball? I became a very good caddy, very fast. I was and still am very accurate in judging yardage and wind direction and velocity. Mondays were Caddy days, they closed the golf course to the members, and the caddies could play for free. The macho caddie master would pull out a $100 and challenge any caddies in a round and would temp us by allowing us to choose only 2 clubs he could bring. No one ever took him up on it because he was a scratch golfer. By the end of my caddy career I had the wonderful title of A Caddy. “Oh Caddy, where is my golf ball?”
Caddy - Give me that bag
During one of my loops, my player looked at me and said, “caddy….. (they never called me by my name), come over here son. Hand me my bag.” “Yes sir”, I said. He picked up his entire bag of clubs, walked over to the lake and threw the entire bag in the water. He walked off and drove off in his Bentley. I did not get a tip nor get paid. Pay, you ask. Base pay was predicated on our rating. A-$20, B-$15, C-$10. Yes, I walked the course with a huge bag for 5 miles, washing clubs, quoting distances, cleaning balls and finding duck hooks all for a mere $10. I even had to fetch thrown golf clubs out of trees. “Caddy, climb that tree and get my 9 iron.” Did I tell you a round of golf is 4.5 hours and with travel time spent 8+ hours in my “good walk spoiled”. I still remember every hole at LCC and always wondered what it would be like to “live on the other side…”. I never really found out.
My first set of clubs - Ben Hogan Apex
The young TOM SCHMUKI - Handicap 9. Where is that guy now?
I caddied for a wonderful man and woman who always asked for me. I purchased my first set of golf clubs…. “Ben Hogan APEX” irons and woods from him. I played Ben Hogan Woods and Irons for a good part of my golf life. The irons were BLADES and only real golfers play blades. As I mentioned previously I played golf with my dad nearly every Sunday, breaking the sabbath and getting the FROWNS from my MORMON friends at church. It was not long that I beat my dad the first time, and he never beat me again. I was soon shooting in the mid 80’s and soon averaged between 78-82. I hit the ball long and HIGH. There were few par 5 holes in Colorado I could not reach in 2. Granted the ball flies 10-20% farther there because of the mile high elevation, light air and low humidity. When I moved to Florida, hitting par 5’s in 2 became much more of a challenge.
Now I just photograph Golf - Boca Woods CC
High School Golf Team
I played golf on the High School golf team in Arvada Colorado. I played number 3-6 on the team. The number 1 player Joe Putnam ended up a professional. I played many times in the SNOW, putting on snow mittens between shots, and when hitting an IRON having stung your hands so hard, you want to quit. I was so cold, I could NOT zip my fly down to PEE. OH caddy master, can you help? He was such an A….. hole. I have to pee and my white golf ball cannot be found in the SNOW!
I wanted to be a golf pro my entire life
Photo taken during in my IbKul shirt
While playing on the team I had the opportunity to play some of the greatest courses in Colorado including the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, Cherry Hills CC where the US Open was played, Hiwan country club where the Colorado Open was played, etc. I was a self taught player, with NO lessons or tutelage. I am a natural “hands-eye” coordinated athlete. We could NOT afford lessons, but I look back at those years and should have really pushed it. I had a dream for many years even into my early 50’s I wanted to become a professional golfer. To this day I still have dreams and nightmares about it. Over the years I have won many local golf tournaments in Florida, from multiple club championships to local events. My average handicap as an adult was about a 8-10. I just happened to get lucky at tournament time. The better players played flat, and somehow I brought my A game. I stopped playing golf years ago for multiple reasons which I have discussed in previous blogs.
Palm Beach Par 3 with Ryan - Thanks Alice for a great day!
Golf Stories
Are you ready for some GOLF stories? The real reason I decided to write this blog? I mentioned that competition sometimes brings out the worst of us. I have seen it in golf an tennis nearly all my life.
A story of fisticuffs you will not believe
These stories are TRUE, and I will NOT disclose names, venues, etc to protect the abusers. If you play golf you understand, on the first tee the players (foursome) determine and agree on the bets and or teams for the day. On one early weekend day in South Florida, we agree on the bet and the teams. I remember the BET, it was nearly nothing. TEAMS, low net balls, .25 a bet which of course can be “pushed or doubled.” I can afford those terms. We have 2 riding carts for the 4 of us. Note: I never ridden a golf cart ever until I moved to Florida. Could not afford it and I preferred to walk. I was always jealous of the SNOBS who could afford a golf cart.
Ok, here we all are on the green. We have marked our balls and the further from the pin puts his ball to the hole. His put ended up “in the leather”, he stroked it with one hand and missed the put. He said, that was a gimme, it was in the leather. This player was my partner. One of the other players said, “that is NOT good, thats a 5”. Now the two players were 2-3 feet apart. They both dropped their putters. Words were said, and it got HOT real fast. My partner in his early 60’s was firm on his “its good” stance. I thought they were going to start shoving each other right there. NOPE, the younger player (mid 30’s and a real athlete), put up his fist and cold cocked my partner with his fist straight on to his jaw. He went down with a thud. To this day I can remember the ground actually shook. He lay flat on the ground in the middle of the green. He did not even seem to be breathing. The 3 of us came to his rescue and tried to assess the situation. It seems my partner was out like a light, maybe even dead, for about 1 minute. I was in total shock. All this for a quarter. Are you kidding me? Finally a breath of life came and we awkwardly drove our carts back to the clubhouse. I don’t know how I had the assailant now in my cart while we were heading back to the clubhouse. I was in a fog driving the cart, and remember the slugger trying to justify or explain to me what and why he had done it. I wouldn’t dare say a word or he would have cold cocked me!
From what I understand, Mike Tyson was never brought to court. I never ever ever played golf or tennis with either of these individuals again.
At least we got 2.5 holes of golf in. I wouldn’t dare ask fore a refund.
Me and my son Ryan at Palm Beach Par 3 - notice the IBKul shirts?
Golf story #2: Another TRUE story
Hole in 1 in 3
During a tournament at Don Shulas where I belonged to I teed up my pitching wedge on a par 3 on their front 9 and proceeded to hit it in the lake in front of the green. I then teed up another ball, lying 3 on the tee and hit the ball in the hole. Observers in the tournament thought I had a hole in one. Did I win a car? This was worse than kissing your sister. What a 3?
Heron Bay hole in one
I played for years with the same foursome, executives from Interactive Response Technologies. We had our normal bet going. With irons in hand, walking up to the 11th hole at Heron Bay, someone else in the group said, “how about $10 for closest to the pin.” We all agreed. I then said, “How about $100 for a hole in one.” Of course everyone chimed in and said yes. I believe I was 3rd up having lost the previous hole. I pulled out my stiff shaft PING 8 iron (I gave up on my blade Hogan Irons), with a scuffed up Titleist teed up just perfect. The flag was tucked behind the front trap so the bottom of the hole could not be seen from the tee box. Off my 8 iron went, pure and perfect. It looks good, but is it close enough for me to win the $10? Out of the carts we went and we could not find my Titleist 1. I went to the flag and looked down the the hole. There it was…. Titleist 1. All players payed up and of course I bought a plaque and bought a round of beer for the group. No fisticuffs here. No one ever dropped their putters in this group. We were civilized.
Let’s get personal…..
Most everyone who knows me seldom if ever hear a 4 letter word come out of my mouth. If I cursed at home in Colorado, my mom would wash my mouth out with soap. Golf, did bring out the worst of me. There were occasions I cursed more than my father, a World War II vet who could cuss up a storm. I would scream out words on the golf course I would not even think of in my normal life. This is all embarrassing to say but true. Golf is NOT a game of perfect, yet Tom is a perfectionist. Sort of a problem when I duck hook it out of bounds, or shank my Titleist 1 in the water. I seldom even think a cuss word when I play tennis even to this day.
Golf Story #3: 74 year old golfer shoots man and beats HIM with a golf club
Very close to where I live in Delray Beach Florida a 74 year old golfer shot a man and beat him with his golf club for walking a dog on the golf course. This man is under arrest for attempted first-degree murder. Here is the article in Golf Digest:
https://www.golfdigest.com/story/delray-beach-golf-course-shooting-dog-florida-man
Tennis
Now its time for my tennis resume. I started playing tennis in High School at the same time I was playing golf. I would occasionally play a few players on the high school tennis team and could easily compete even in those earlier years. I played tennis as much as I could while serving a mission for the Mormon church. Let’s call it proselytizing the tennis gods. I took a tennis class in college (BYU) and my teacher immediately said, can you please teach this class, so I did. Tennis was and is a much easier game for me to be consistent and know what I am going to bring to the table next time I play. Golf was never that way. One day I could shoot 76 and the next day 90. I hated that!
My tour on the semi, semi, semi pro South Florida circuit
Babolat man - watch out Rafa Nadal
I have played tennis at the following clubs in South Florida: Miami Lakes Country Club (now called Shulas Country Club) and Coral Springs Tennis. I was a “paying member” at these clubs and played for years. I also played as a non member for a number of years at: Hawks Landing, Heron Bay, and now at Valencia Bay in Boynton Beach. In my 40’s and 50’s I played singles, doubles, and mixed doubles.
Sexy tennis photos - forgive me
My tennis injuries and surgeries
I was and am an orthopedic dream. They are all wishing I play tennis until I am 6’ under. After 2 knee surgeries including ACL replacement, elbow surgery and torn rotator cuff I have pretty much stuck to playing doubles. I have won many tournaments and club championships and most every venue I played at. Starting at level 3.5, then 4.0 and finished at 4.5. When I was at my best I would win most all matches at 4.0. At 4.5 I would be pressed to win half my matches.
Old man super duper league
Always ride my motorcycle to my tennis matches
I was just asked to play in an upper level seniors league on Tuesdays at Valencia Bay playing teams from Palm Beach County. Requirement: over 55. I am 67, I qualify! I am assuming there will be some 3.5 players, most 4.0 players and a scattering of 4.5 players. Hey, we are all old and we just think those are our numbers lol. Actually they only used to be our numbers in our prime…
Throw those trophies out
When I realized no one cared about my 2 big boxes of tennis and trophy ribbons from club championships to longest drive, to hole in ones, I carried the whole box to a dumpster and gave it a good toss. I probably did this in disgust from my pitiful golf game.
Delray OPEN tennis tournament 2022
A short story:
One of my unnamed partners, a VERY good player had a very hot temper. Often times during our matches he had words with our opponents. On 2 occasions those words ended up in dropping of the rackets and chest to chest name calling, with fists knuckled up. As his partner, I was so embarrassed. Non cussing Tom who only heard the word “FLIPPING” from missionaries on a mission. I guess that was their way of pretending to say …..ING.
An observation:
I have caddied at a high level for women’s golf, and observed men and women’s tennis on a USTA league tennis level. I am amazed how “competitive” the women are. They take their game, the rules and the whole experience at a level much higher than what I have observed on the men’s side. I am sure they have their way of chest to chest, fisticuffs and cursing.
Womens tennis league. OHH are they competitive!
When I played USTA tennis, I observed how different my partners and teammates would be and how competition drives many to call out balls in and in balls out. Unfortunately I was there long ago. Years ago during a 3.5 singles match in Miami Lakes, my opponent called a ball that was 6 inches in the court out. I said, “what did you say”. “Out” he said. “Really?” Your kidding right? He said no. So on the next point he hit a ball on my side of the court, and I called a ball that was 2 feet in out….. “OUT”. “How does that feel?” I said.
Jeff Bingo Tennis Pro at Delray Tennis Center
In conclusion - what is the lesson here:
So what is the point here? The point is, competition can and does bring out the best and the worst of us all. One of my greatest attributes: “competitive”. One of my worst attributes: “competitive”.
Maybe we can all just have fun and get along. Maybe twenty five cents is NOT worth decking your opponent for a “in the leather miss.” Maybe we can call “marginal out” balls IN. I believe anyone who plays tennis with me sees me as that person. Let’s leave our guns at home and NOT shoot a passer by walking his dog!
Remember, its just a game! My gaggle of golf and tennis trophies now mean nothing to me.
Did you ever wonder why Tennis players don’t bet on their game like golfers do? What is your tennis handicap? Lets do this!
Note: I welcome competitive sports enthusiasts to share their own experiences in the comments below! Come on, be brave!