Golf my Perpetual nightmare

Even if you are not a golfer you should enjoy reading this short blog.

Hopes of becoming a golf professional

Most people who know me know that golf has been a very important part of my life from the age of 14.  I had hopes and dreams of becoming a professional, however the “PETER PRINCIPAL” stepped in, and I soon reached my level of incompetence at a handicap of about 7-9.  No matter how hard I tried, hitting thousands of golf balls, taking lessons, my game just kept getting worse and worse.  Now I do not even play golf any more.

If you have read the book “Golf a good walk spoiled” by John Feinstein you may understand at a deeper level what the game of golf can do to you.

I dream EVERY NIGHT

I am a dreamer, I mean I dream at night, every night.  I wake up many times during the night from a dream, a nightmare, etc. I go to the bathroom and sit on the POT and ponder the meaning of my dream.  Is it my enlarged prostate or the dream that woke me up?

Basketball dream as a kid

I go back to bed and often times my dream continues on through the night.  When I was a kid I would dream of playing basketball.  I played a lot of HOOPS growing up.  My parents told me I was a sleep walker.  Often times my pillow would end up in my round laundry basket in the morning.  Perhaps I was shooting HOOPS in my dreams.

A perpetual nightmare: Getting fired

I have a many dreams based around the same themes.  One nightmare is getting fired from one of my previous jobs and my bosses would ignore me as I was pondering the reason for my exit.

My dream last night

Golf is is probably my main theme of dreaming.  Just last night I had a real crazy one.  I wish I was an artist and could paint this up for you.  Picture Dr. Seuss if you can painting this up.  I am in my standard PGA competition.  I am in the HUNT for the win as the closing holes are approaching.  The next hole, a par 3. 


Picture in your mind a golf green, just the green elevated about 200 feet above ground.  Now imaging, it is snowing with Icicles stuck in my nose.  Snow is everywhere, on the green and in a front trap which is also about 50 feet below the green.  I am in the trap and found my white ball in the white snow.  There is my Titleist 1 buried half in the snow and half in the sand.  I have NO hope of hitting this ball anywhere.  With sand wedge in my hand, I approach the ball, and with a mighty thump the ball flies in another trap filled with 3 feet of snow.  Wake up Tom, this is another golf nightmare.

No bad tennis dreams

Interesting, I NEVER have dreams or nightmares about TENNIS?


Any artists out there want to paint this scene for me? Yes I am serious about this.

All I can say is, “sweet dreams” and may the grinch who stole my golf game give it back some day.

A shrink would have a hay day getting into my head…

—tom